Depressing Clouds

When I see clouds in the sky, whether they are bright or dark, I will find a way to see them dark. In fact most of the time I see my world this way. It's hard to explain to someone how this feels when you don't suffer from depression. It could be the nicest day outside, I will see the dark part of that day. Mind you this day that I took this picture there was a storm coming on. That made my day, storms and rain actually make me smile. It's like music, in my mind, if the music is happy it makes me miserable. But if the music is depressing and dark, I'm the happiest person on the planet, go figure. 

There was sunshine and beauty in the day that I took this next picture, you can almost see it. That's the point, that is darklight. You can almost be happy, but wait there a minute, not you. So I have learned to embrace my depression like this, I create art. Another way I have learned to calm down is the write about it. When I was younger my Mom gave me a great idea. If I don't feel like talking about the darkness or bad feelings that I was going through, I should write them down. I have pages and pages of binders and notebooks all over the place with my thoughts. The really odd part is that when these dark feelings show up, the can turn very fast into sexual feelings. Most people get happy thoughts with sex, not me I see darkness everywhere, in a good way I guess.

I was walking around High Park in Toronto the day I took this one. The cherry blossoms appeared in full bloom. First I seen the sky and I had to make it my own. A bright happy day, how was I going to make this look dark enough to help bring the happiness into my mind. There you go.

Ok so not everything I shoot is gloomy, here is a shot of those same cherry blossoms. Darklight does exist in the picture though, The part of the tree that is hiding from the sun is where the darkness is. As much as the sun is peaking through, not all can be positive. However, in this case a negative makes a positive. I know this might not make sense to every one reading this, but I do hope it can help you understand what a friend or family member might be going through. Something you may think is bad for them, might actually be the one thing that is helping them get back in the game.